Winter Wonderland Tag

Something a bit different on the blog today, a tag video! I recorded this a bunch of times on different days because I was never satisfied with the result, but after 3 days of this I gave up and what you see is the best of the bunch lol.

I tag, Ashley, Andrea (& Mike) and Olivia! All of their blogs are linked on the sidebar under "Favs." :)

News Flash: I Miss My Language Partner!

Since I'm back in CA and have time to spare these days, I've been wanting to get back into studying and learning Korean. I don't really want to pay to take classes in an extension program ($$$$) and I don't really want to go to an academy-type of language institute, so I thought I might partake in an language exchange meetup.

Lets just say that after trying it out twice, I came home and immediately messaged my old language partner (이상형) from Korea. I met some very nice people who were extremely welcoming and fun, but I'm just not sure a group language exchange is what I need right now. And not to say that my LP is replaceable by any means, but I'm only just now fully appreciating our study situation and really how well it turned out. I definitely appreciated my LP before, and thought it was pretty lucky that we got along so well as people, but now I'm appreciating just how well we got along as language partners. I just didn't think it would be this difficult to find a compatible language partner.

An example of this compatibility issue can be seen in something as small as the choice to speak formally or informally to one another. Last night, after asking the ever important age question, a Korean male found out that I am actually older than him. He was surprised because he thought for sure that he was "oppa" to me. Suddenly, he rejected my older status and decided that he would be the older of us so I should call him "oppa." After I put up a fight because lets be serious that doesn't even make sense and to be honest I HATE using the world "oppa," he then made the suggestion that we should be same-age friends to speak informally.  

I don't know if this is an issue now that I'm the native speaker of the host country (instead of vice versa when I was studying in Korea), and that the culture/group has promoted speaking informally, or that the Korean students studying here want become closer to Americans, or what, but generally, I'm not someone who uses informal language with people without reason--especially not with someone I just met.

Compare that situation to my old LP. LP and I are actually same-age friends, but we spoke to each other formally for a good while before we switched to informal language. And that's because we got closer to each other as friends and felt more comfortable, so it made sense.

I think I just like to reserve informal language for people who are really close to me--I like for it to have meaning, and since I don't use it freely, when I do use informal language with someone, it really conveys the feeling of closeness, on my end at least. Likewise, the only people I like to call "oppa" are guys who 1) are actually older than me, and 2) I have that close relationship with. It's not just a superfluous "oppa-dongsaeng" relationship.

Call me picky, but that's just how I roll. #kanyeshrug But apparently its not just me. LP is having a hard time getting a new language partner on his end as well. In the end, we agreed that we'll never find better language partners than each other.

He also said "you must miss me," and then I responded, "ㅇㅇ 보고싶어" because its true and I'm glad we still keep in contact and that I can interrupt him while he's at work to complain about my life and that I speak to him in 반말 because I don't usually speak to others informally and that I accept him speaking in 반말 to me because generally I don't like when others speak to me informally.

So it looks like its back to more k-dramas in the meantime, and then enrolling in a class sometime after the start of the spring semester. I'm toying with the idea of introducing him to an acquaintance in Korea who expressed not only wanting a Korean language exchange partner, but explicitly said she wanted him as a partner. LP was pretty famous on my seoul blog and I never got more comments or likes on any posts as much as I did when I blogged about him. Except that I selfishly don't want him to replace me haha. I'll get over it though, because I do want good things for him. I just need to make sure this girl isn't crazy and will treat him right (I sound like his mother).

On Taking That First Step Towards Adventure

Not too long ago, I made a post over at heartmindnseoul to kind of close things out there. I hated the open-ended feeling that blog had, and to be honest, I had been planning on writing so sort of "6 months later/ 1 year later" type of post, and the timing was right this past week so I thought why not. And while I'm always surprised to get any kind of response at all, I was completely shocked to get what I can easily say is the nicest comment I've ever received from a blog. It was humbling and sweet because much as I like to say that I blog for my personal needs, the public nature of blogging lends itself to an audience and it's nice when someone takes notice. <3

But more than just saying some very nice things about my seoul blog, she had this to ask me:

The heartache to which she refers was described in a several long and emotionally-wrecked posts I wrote about knowing that I needed to leave Seoul, but that in doing so I would be breaking my own heart. I thought I would share my response to this question because it's not always easy taking that first step into the unknown.

I would just say, as a general rule of thumb, that getting outside of your comfort zone is always a good thing. Not only is it necessary, I feel, but also enlightening. Necessary because it forces a person to interact and experience the world in a way that they may not have even imagined or conceived of, and in that exchange with the world a person themselves becomes more aware of their humanity. Enlightening because it forces a person to grow and understand themselves in a whole new way. If we, as people, are the sum of our experiences, then we are better off having these out-of-comfort-zone-experiences than not--no matter what comes. In that sense, it is beneficial in two ways: the first for the general and universal human condition, and the second for our own personal growth and development. Thats how I see it at least.
 That is not to say that it is always easy. I've had really difficult moments where I've stepped out of my comfort zone and have been caught completely unprepared, or that somehow the situation turned out to be something completely different from what I expected--but I have never, ever regretted the decision and the choice to at least find out and explore an option. Even when things didn't work out for me, I learned something about myself that I didn't know before, and answered a question for myself. It is a comfort to know that the situation was settled and that I won't have to go through the rest of my life thinking about "what if" or questioning what my life would be like if I made other choices. I don't have to wonder because I know. And that, at the very least, is a great comfort.
 So, long story short, the answer to your question about whether the heartache I experienced leaving Seoul/Korea (and to a certain extent continue to feel) was worth it... the answer is yes. An absolute, clear, unequivocal and resounding YES.
 If you feel worried and afraid about taking the big step to move to Korea, I would say that it is completely normal. If you weren't at least a little bit nervous about it, then I would be worried. But the fact that you are says that it means something to you, and that is already a wonderful sign. I would like to say that it gets easier. And what I mean by that is with each out-of-your-comfort-zone experience, you gain so much and grow so much that suddenly what you found to be intimidating before no longer seems so. You're more prepared to handle situations that seem overwhelming to others. And the whole process, I truly believe, is just invaluable.