Winter Wonderland Tag

Something a bit different on the blog today, a tag video! I recorded this a bunch of times on different days because I was never satisfied with the result, but after 3 days of this I gave up and what you see is the best of the bunch lol.

I tag, Ashley, Andrea (& Mike) and Olivia! All of their blogs are linked on the sidebar under "Favs." :)

News Flash: I Miss My Language Partner!

Since I'm back in CA and have time to spare these days, I've been wanting to get back into studying and learning Korean. I don't really want to pay to take classes in an extension program ($$$$) and I don't really want to go to an academy-type of language institute, so I thought I might partake in an language exchange meetup.

Lets just say that after trying it out twice, I came home and immediately messaged my old language partner (이상형) from Korea. I met some very nice people who were extremely welcoming and fun, but I'm just not sure a group language exchange is what I need right now. And not to say that my LP is replaceable by any means, but I'm only just now fully appreciating our study situation and really how well it turned out. I definitely appreciated my LP before, and thought it was pretty lucky that we got along so well as people, but now I'm appreciating just how well we got along as language partners. I just didn't think it would be this difficult to find a compatible language partner.

An example of this compatibility issue can be seen in something as small as the choice to speak formally or informally to one another. Last night, after asking the ever important age question, a Korean male found out that I am actually older than him. He was surprised because he thought for sure that he was "oppa" to me. Suddenly, he rejected my older status and decided that he would be the older of us so I should call him "oppa." After I put up a fight because lets be serious that doesn't even make sense and to be honest I HATE using the world "oppa," he then made the suggestion that we should be same-age friends to speak informally.  

I don't know if this is an issue now that I'm the native speaker of the host country (instead of vice versa when I was studying in Korea), and that the culture/group has promoted speaking informally, or that the Korean students studying here want become closer to Americans, or what, but generally, I'm not someone who uses informal language with people without reason--especially not with someone I just met.

Compare that situation to my old LP. LP and I are actually same-age friends, but we spoke to each other formally for a good while before we switched to informal language. And that's because we got closer to each other as friends and felt more comfortable, so it made sense.

I think I just like to reserve informal language for people who are really close to me--I like for it to have meaning, and since I don't use it freely, when I do use informal language with someone, it really conveys the feeling of closeness, on my end at least. Likewise, the only people I like to call "oppa" are guys who 1) are actually older than me, and 2) I have that close relationship with. It's not just a superfluous "oppa-dongsaeng" relationship.

Call me picky, but that's just how I roll. #kanyeshrug But apparently its not just me. LP is having a hard time getting a new language partner on his end as well. In the end, we agreed that we'll never find better language partners than each other.

He also said "you must miss me," and then I responded, "ㅇㅇ 보고싶어" because its true and I'm glad we still keep in contact and that I can interrupt him while he's at work to complain about my life and that I speak to him in 반말 because I don't usually speak to others informally and that I accept him speaking in 반말 to me because generally I don't like when others speak to me informally.

So it looks like its back to more k-dramas in the meantime, and then enrolling in a class sometime after the start of the spring semester. I'm toying with the idea of introducing him to an acquaintance in Korea who expressed not only wanting a Korean language exchange partner, but explicitly said she wanted him as a partner. LP was pretty famous on my seoul blog and I never got more comments or likes on any posts as much as I did when I blogged about him. Except that I selfishly don't want him to replace me haha. I'll get over it though, because I do want good things for him. I just need to make sure this girl isn't crazy and will treat him right (I sound like his mother).

On Taking That First Step Towards Adventure

Not too long ago, I made a post over at heartmindnseoul to kind of close things out there. I hated the open-ended feeling that blog had, and to be honest, I had been planning on writing so sort of "6 months later/ 1 year later" type of post, and the timing was right this past week so I thought why not. And while I'm always surprised to get any kind of response at all, I was completely shocked to get what I can easily say is the nicest comment I've ever received from a blog. It was humbling and sweet because much as I like to say that I blog for my personal needs, the public nature of blogging lends itself to an audience and it's nice when someone takes notice. <3

But more than just saying some very nice things about my seoul blog, she had this to ask me:

The heartache to which she refers was described in a several long and emotionally-wrecked posts I wrote about knowing that I needed to leave Seoul, but that in doing so I would be breaking my own heart. I thought I would share my response to this question because it's not always easy taking that first step into the unknown.

I would just say, as a general rule of thumb, that getting outside of your comfort zone is always a good thing. Not only is it necessary, I feel, but also enlightening. Necessary because it forces a person to interact and experience the world in a way that they may not have even imagined or conceived of, and in that exchange with the world a person themselves becomes more aware of their humanity. Enlightening because it forces a person to grow and understand themselves in a whole new way. If we, as people, are the sum of our experiences, then we are better off having these out-of-comfort-zone-experiences than not--no matter what comes. In that sense, it is beneficial in two ways: the first for the general and universal human condition, and the second for our own personal growth and development. Thats how I see it at least.
 That is not to say that it is always easy. I've had really difficult moments where I've stepped out of my comfort zone and have been caught completely unprepared, or that somehow the situation turned out to be something completely different from what I expected--but I have never, ever regretted the decision and the choice to at least find out and explore an option. Even when things didn't work out for me, I learned something about myself that I didn't know before, and answered a question for myself. It is a comfort to know that the situation was settled and that I won't have to go through the rest of my life thinking about "what if" or questioning what my life would be like if I made other choices. I don't have to wonder because I know. And that, at the very least, is a great comfort.
 So, long story short, the answer to your question about whether the heartache I experienced leaving Seoul/Korea (and to a certain extent continue to feel) was worth it... the answer is yes. An absolute, clear, unequivocal and resounding YES.
 If you feel worried and afraid about taking the big step to move to Korea, I would say that it is completely normal. If you weren't at least a little bit nervous about it, then I would be worried. But the fact that you are says that it means something to you, and that is already a wonderful sign. I would like to say that it gets easier. And what I mean by that is with each out-of-your-comfort-zone experience, you gain so much and grow so much that suddenly what you found to be intimidating before no longer seems so. You're more prepared to handle situations that seem overwhelming to others. And the whole process, I truly believe, is just invaluable.
 

Thanksgiving 2013

It's been a few years since I've been able to celebrate Thanksgiving in a traditional way. When you live abroad, you just can't cook the way you do here in the states, and while that usually isn't a problem (and more often than not a benefit), when it gets to be the holidays you start craving the comforts of home. In Korea, generally speaking, Turkey is not generally found and that kinda puts a damper on your Thanksgiving plans if you're planning on celebrating it. The way my friends and I got around this issue was by having access to the U.S. military base in Seoul, which offers a basic Thanksgiving set from the lodge. It's so appreciated, but last Thanksgiving my friend Andrea and I definitely had to scramble to the convenient store downstairs to try and find something to make gravy out of (I think we used some canned soup and a hamburger meat + sauce meal that came in a packet, lol).

Thanksgiving 2012: Trying to open a bottle of wine + trying to make gravy. Seoul, South Korea.

So you can imagine that this year I was going to go all out with Thanksgiving (it's high ranking up there on my list of favorite holidays). Usually, I do a lot of the cooking, but this year I took it upon myself to cook everything.

• Turkey + Gravy
• Baked Ham
• Roasted Potatoes
• Corn
• Green Bean Casserole
• Sweet Potatoes
• Apple Stuffing
• Pumpkin Cheesecake

But then my mom decided last minute to make pasta and short ribs. It was a LOT of food, luckily it was more a long day of prep work and crossing things off one at a time than frantic cooking.

Woke up to a pink dawn :)

First casualty of the day. My knife skills are not what they used to be!

The beginnings of apple stuffing.

The beginnings of garlic rosemary roasted potatoes.

The end result of the baked ham.

Marshmellowssss

I tried to take pictures as I went along buy mostly I forgot kkkk and by the time I remembered everything was half eaten and looked like a group of wild savages had just destroyed everything and nobody wants to see pictures of that. I was just happy I was able to get everything done in a timely matter, and that, for the most part, everything tasted good. Or at least it did to me:) And more importantly, it was wonderful to spend the day with family and friends. Especially family. I hadn't seen some of my cousins since my sister's wedding last November, and even then, I was only in town for 3 days so I couldn't even spend quality time with them. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but they're all so grown up now and like, actual people. Bizarre.

And what better way to kick of the gift giving season than by Black Friday shopping? If I'm going to live the cliche, I might as well do it properly :)

To you and yours, wishing you a very happy Thanksgiving <3

Late Night Ramblings: Korea Blog

I recently went through the blog I kept during the two years I lived in Seoul, and I was struck by how lucky I am to have this time capsule of my time there. At the time, I knew I wanted to blog about Korea, and that I would someday be grateful that I took the time to try and document my life there. While I wasn't always the most faithful blogger, or the most creative, I did my best and as I went through my blog today I felt so happy that I had tried to capture my experiences there.

There were things that happened to me, or that I was a part of, that I had completely forgotten about. Little details, exchanges, that my brain had let slip through the cracks were all there. I found the videos I shot giving tours of my apartments, and suddenly those places were not longer just memories for me, but I was there, present in the moment and everything was exactly the way it was when I lived there.

That is such a special and wonderful thing to be able to do. I didn't realize just how much it would mean to me to have that blog to remind me, not only of the people and places I met and visited, but also of the person I used to be.

This blogging thing, it's not so bad.

And for the curious, my blog from Korea is heartmindnseoul.tumblr.com

Habemus Papam: On Pope Francis

I don't often bring my religious views into my blog posts, for reasons that I won't get into here, but I feel the need to share my thoughts on the newest Holy Father of the Catholic Church.

I should start off by saying that I am a practicing Catholic. Mostly practicing. I say that because there was a time in my life where I was more devout than I am now. Bi-monthly Reconciliation; weekly, sometimes daily, Mass; I was active in Bible study, small groups, volunteer projects, and YA ministry. I even toyed with the idea of entering religious life on a full-time basis, as a nun.

And while I no longer hold aspirations of one day adorning my head with a habit, and even as I struggle with my Faith more now than ever before, the Holy See and the Pope still play important roles in my life.

I know a lot of people, non-Catholic and Catholic alike, question the relationship between laypeople and the Pope. Yes, the sitting Pope is the leader of the Catholic church, we look to him for guidance, inspiration, and example. But what else? What more? I can't speak for everyone, because I think relationships, no matter what kind, remain fundamentally personal. And for sure the way I see and feel about popes is different from the way I view other positions of power, and the people who hold those positions. Say, POTUS. While I may feel a tentative allegiance to the president, it's not a relationship that is more than superficial. It is not at all personal.

It may come as a surprise to some that I can say clearly that I loved Pope John Paul II. I felt his passing away keenly, grieving and crying for days on end. I was 20 years old when he died, and I had never known another pope, had grown up with him my whole life, and I saw and felt him to be so much a tangible part of my life. Even now, I get emotional over his memory because, even though I had never met him, I knew him and had cultivated a personal relationship with him over the years. His death was real to me.

I have to say that I never really warmed to Pope Benedict XVI. I tried to get to know him, I did. I acknowledged him, certainly, but our relationship was distant. And while I wasn't pleased by the arrangement, as the years passed I was resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't have the same relationship with Benedict that I have with John Paul II.

But now a new pope sits on the chair at St. Peter's Basilica. Pope Francis has entered into his papacy by flipping it on its head. He's been very bold. And as I've watched and read and seen him in these, his still early days, I feel so much hope and joy. Already, I feel a profound affinity with Pope Francis, and something in me, my soul perhaps, feels lighter and more at peace. It's as if I had been on my spiritual own for so long, and now, again, finally, there's someone to help me and support me. I can't adequately put in words what it means to have a spiritual confidant, a friend, at the Vatican. And this is what the popes mean to me. I already love Pope Francis--its not so much because of his earth-shattering statements or how radical he seems, although there is that. I admire and respect his humility, and am inspired by his capacity to love.

Some will criticize the papacy, as they have the right to do so, but for me, and for others, Pope Francis brings much needed relief, and I am looking forward to what he has in store for the Church.

On Being Brave

Thank you, Kathleen Kelly, for that wonderfully accurate description of me at this particular point of my life.

A question that I keep coming back to in regards to my pursuit of a career in publishing is whether or not I actually want to do it. At this point in my life, I feel like I should start to cultivate something more permanent and stable. And given the loss of certain idealist mentalities, I decided that it wasn't so much the what of all but simply the act of committing that I needed to embrace. It's not the end of the world if your job or career isn't something you love, despite what people say about not ever working a day in their lives when you do the thing you love. That was, unfortunately or fortunately, the belief I carried around with me for a long time. I saw settling for something stable, secure, and expected as being a sell-out, choosing the comfortable life over the meaningful one.

But let's be real here. There is too much chance in the world, and people too complex, for life to be so black and white. A meaningful life can be made, found, created, stumbled upon in infinite and abundant ways.

And while I wish I had a single driving force and focus of my life, I acknowledge that I simply don't. I have, to my credit and despair, several interests. Books being one of them. I don't need my job to be the thing that defines me. Because it doesn't. It is a means or even a part, of what I hope will be a small, but meaningful life.

But I still can't help but wonder if I'm romanticizing publishing. I love to read. Books are incredibly important to me and the life I lead. And so I can't help but wonder if I actually want to get into publishing, or if its something I think is logical for me, or if I just think it would be super awesome to work in publishing. The reason I keep coming back to this question is because I still don't know that much about the book world, and don't read as much as I should, and how can I dedicate myself so wholeheartedly to publishing when I don't know what's its about. I can't really see myself working up the ladder, mingling and networking, to be successful in the book world. I can't envision going to work everyday at a publishing house.

Do I do it because I love it, or because I haven't been brave?

Some people might call what I've done by coming out here as being brave. But it's not bravery, it's foolishness. Going all in on something is hardly new to me. A good friend kindly pointed out to me several years ago that once I get an idea in my head, I'm stubborn enough to not let go of it and to throw myself into whatever it is. At whatever cost.

Being brave would entail something else entirely. It would entail, I would think, not feeling like a fraud all of the time. It would entail diving into something you know you could do for years on end, something you could envision yourself doing. It would entail not doubting yourself and not caring about not having all of the skills necessary because, damn it, this is IT for you.

That's what I think, at least.

And it seems like I haven't let go of my idealist ways after all.

You've Got Mail: a Visit to the Upper West Side

One of my favorite movies to watch come fall is You've Got Mail. New York looks so beautiful in the film, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are just the cutest, there's that great opening sequence with The Cranberries playing that can't help but put you in a good mood, and oh yeah, the movie is about books! Okay fine, maybe not about books, but the book industry plays a huge part in the film. In any case, the movie has almost all my favorite things in it--including Mr. Darcy :)

(doesn't this just make you hopeful and ready to take on the day? The Cranberries-- Dream)

The other day, my co-worker and I were chatting and realized that we both love the movie. After a bout of gushing, she told me that I should do a You've Got Mail self-guided tour of the upper west side. I am ashamed to think that I've live in New York for this long and the thought never crossed my mind. Excited and armed with directions to different set locations for the film, I made my way uptown on the 1 to the 86th street stop.

1. Cafe Lalo: 83rd street between Broadway and Amsterdam 

movieland:

Out of all the set locations, I wanted to visit Cafe Lalo the most because it just looks like the perfect cafe, both inside and out. The twinkle/ fairy/ Christmas lights, which can look gaudy in the wrong hands, come across as being utterly charming. For all my expectations, the cafe looked so so similar to the way it did in the movie, I was expecting Tom Hanks to walk in any minute.

in real life:

"She had to be! She had to be!"

Sad to say that I didn't have my copy of Pride & Prejudice with me, nor did NY152 approach my table, but I did enjoy a few hours of reading in the cafe while partaking in their amazing desserts. Watching the scene again, I find it funny that the cafe is so quiet, because in real life it is bustling and busy with the ever present din of its patrons. TIP: they serve their brunch menu everyday until 4pm!

2. Zabar's : on Broadway in between 80th and 81st street

I've heard wonderful, bordering on legendary, things about Zabar's. Just wandering the aisles, I was sorely tempted to buy wedges of cheese, fresh pasta, and about 10 pounds of coffeecake. Everything looked delicious, and it made me wish I didn't so far away from this super duper grocery store.

movieland:

in real life:

"zip, zip." 

3. Starbucks: on the corner of 81st street and Broadway

Yes, by now that novelty of Starbucks has well-worn away, but this Starbiz' involvement in the movie somehow made it seem more magical than the rest of the thousands of locations in NY. 

movieland:

(how amazing does Meg Ryan dress in this movie? this simple & clean white button down <3)

in real ife:

"Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino."

I wanted to visit was Riverside park, where Joe and Kathleen meet near the end of the film (no spoilers for those of you who haven't seen it, lol), and Kathleen's apartment, but I got caught up in two bookstores on my way over than by the time I left the second store, it was already dark. Oops. 

(Went to B&N, and found this section: teen paranormal romance. I don't know what the world is coming to.)

And I didn't want to visit every location for different reasons--the FOX Books exterior isn't located on the upper west side, but rather in Chelsea, and I've heard that the exterior of The Shop Around the Corner is now a dry cleaners and if that isn't the most depressing thing ever then I don't know what is. I'll have to wait another day to visit other locations--and another trip to Lalo! 

 When I was speaking with my co-worker, we both reminisced about logging onto AOL, dial-up connection and all, and the novelty of AIM. And how You've Got Mail is, in many ways, so dated now but when the movie came out (15 years ago in 1998!), it was when connecting with people online was all the newest rage. We got to thinking about if it were possible for something like Joe and Kathleen's online romance could even happen nowadays, when everyone is just so connected and everything is available online. Sadly, we came to the conclusion that it probably wouldn't happen--or that it couldn't happen. The way people communicate has changed, where they are more likely to text or snapchat than email, and having an anonymous internet pen pal is more creepy than unique. And although people message each other all the time on OKCupid and the like, those conversations always happen under the understanding that they are communicating with each other for dating purposes. Ahh, long gone are the days of chat rooms and a/s/l.

Still, I love You've Got Mail and visiting the set locations made me giddy. I love that almost all locations are actually in the upper west side (New York is beautifullll). Now I can't wait to settle in for the night and watch the movie, because really, after all that, how could I not? 

the Low Down: Korean makeup/beauty products & my Holy Grail

Over the past few years it seems to me that Korean/ Asian makeup products have become more known and available in American markets. Undoubtedly this has to do with the hallyu wave and the K-dramas and K-pop groups that feature the flawless, perfect young things all sporting that poreless look achieved by that miracle product: BB cream. Americanized and Europeanized BB creams can now be found in any drugstore or high-end retailer under brands like Flower (Drew Barrymore's line for Walmart) and Dior.

But Asian makeup is so much more than BB cream.* In this post, I'll run down a few of my favorite Korean makeup houses and products therein.

(Makeup houses in Myeongdong, cr. visitkorea.or.kr)

But first, a few notes on the Korean makeup houses/brands. Anyone can tell you that makeup and beauty products are a serious business in Korea, and a single street can have anywhere from 5-10 makeup houses all lined up right next to one another. But Teacher, you ask me, which house/brand is the best? I don't think one house/brand is overall better than another. It basically comes down to packaging, brand loyalty, and standout products. Etude House, arguably, has the cutest packaging. People have their favorite brands and stick to them as to not have to deal with the intimidating task of venturing out and exploring all the other brands out there. And then there are the standout products. What I mean by this is that when you aren't loyal to a single brand, or maybe loyal or several brands, you shop around for the standout products of each house. For instance, I myself tend to stay loyal to a few brands, so I love the face products from TONY MOLY, the nail polishes from ETUDE HOUSE, BB cream from MISSHA, and face masks from OLIVE YOUNG.

For a breakdown of Cosme Road (Cosmetics Road) in Myeongdong, check out the feature on K-Beauty on visitkorea. And without further ado...

(A recent beauty haul courtesy of Erica, Julie, and Andrea)

My Korean Makeup / Beauty Product HG (Holy Grail):

1. Masks: MEDIHEAL Tea Tree Healing Solution Essential Mask

If you're even a tiny bit familiar with Asian beauty products, you've probably seen these somewhere before, or maybe you've even been gifted them by a good friend recently returned from Asia. Basically, these are sheets of cotton in the shape of a face, soaked in all sorts of wonderful face serums. After washing your face, you put the mask on, laugh at how monster-like you appear, and continue to do so for about 20 minutes. After peeling the mask off, pat the residual serum into your skin with clean fingers.

(Erica and I clearly having too much fun)

2. BB cream: MISSHA M Perfect Cover BB Cream (No. 23)

The BB in BB cream stands for Blemish Balm. Word is that BB creams were invented to help cover and treat severe scarring. Thus, BB creams are both makeup and a treatment cream. BB creams these days a packed with all sorts of promises: SPF, anti-wrinkle, whitening, anti-aging, moisturizing, oil control, etc. But the reason why I love BB cream so much is that it has medium coverage that feels weightless, and more importantly, looks like real skin. When I wear BB cream, I feel like my skin can still breathe. The finish isn’t cakey and I don’t need to layer it on think to get the coverage I need.

I had the opportunity to test out several BB creams when I was in Korea, and Missha’s is by far my favorite. A complaint about BB creams is that it only comes in one or two light shades. Missha has 5 shades to pick from—and if you get a shade too light for you, mix it with some foundation—but overall, I feel like Missha’s formula suits me and my body chemistry the best. I do have the Skin79 BB cream that everyone seems to adore, and while the Skin79 one is a good product, I still prefer my Missha BB cream.

One final note on BB creams. A lot of westernized BB creams are now widely available, but on the whole, Asian BB creams are really different from American BB creams. The American versions are more like tinted moisturizers (a la Laura Mercier). And now there’s CC creams popping up in stores where the CC stands for Color Correcting, and supposedly targets different issues than American BB creams. All of this sounds like a headache and I’ll just stick to my Asian BB creams that give me the best of all worlds, thank you very much.

3. Face mask ("Pack" in Korean): TONY MOLY Eggpore Tightening Pack

This pack is the second “step” in a 3 step-eggpore process. Everyone talks about the first step, the blackhead out oil gel, but I’ve found that I like the tightening pack better. I have yet to try the third product, the pore covering balm, but I’ve heard interesting and good things about it. Also, with all these eggpore products come in similar egg-shaped containers that contain plant seeds so that you can reuse the container as a pot to grow your plant in.

This pack is a clay mask that has egg whites and Camilla extracts to deeply cleanse pores. Now, there’s no way to make your pores shrink; there’s only reducing the appearance of them. When you use this pack you do concentrate the product on the skin near your nose (where people tend to have the most visible pores) for 20 minutes until the clay mask dries. Wash away with warm water.

You do feel a “tightening” sensation, but that is due more to the drying mask than your pores actually becoming smaller. Still, I think this is a good mask and I like that it’s a product specifically used to target cleaning the large pores on your face. My skin and pores feel extra squeaky clean after I finish using it.

4. Hand lotion: MISSHA Moist 24 Hand Cream 

(almost gone!)

Hands down my favorite hand cream. It has manuka honey and sunflower extract to nourish and give nutrients to your skin and the formula is really long lasting (maybe not 24 hours though). I really love how the lotion feels on my skin. It has almost a gel-like consistency out of the tube that absorbs quickly and makes my skin feel soft and hydrated without feeling slimy, sticky, or filmy. And it’s scent is exactly how I like lotions to smell: nothing too strong or flower or sweet, but just a subtle scent of freshness that refreshes. When I started to run out of my tubes, I luckily had friends send some over from Korea to replenish my stock!

The next two products from Etude House have been all the rage lately and have a billion reviews online so I won’t go into too much detail.

5. Lipstick: ETUDE HOUSE My Blooming Lips Lipsticks

(love the detail. Shade is OR202)

These lipsticks have great pigmentation and a lovely scent. Although their staying power isn’t super long lasting, they don’t dry out your lips and apply so well because of their super creamy formula. They come in awesome colors in cute packaging.

6. Nail polish: ETUDE HOUSE Ice Cream Nails Nail polish

(in colors: Strawberry and Green apple)

I said that Etude House could quite possibly have the best/cutest packaging of all the makeup houses in Korea, and this just proves that fact. It’s nail polish that looks like ice cream cones. Again, it’s nail polish that looks like ice cream cones. ICE CREAM CONES.Fun colors in great opaque formulas that are good for summer and spring months. But seriously, I like to collect them just for the cuteness factor alone.

And there you have it, my Korean makeup products HG. There are a lot of other products that I enjoy, but haven't quite made it to my HG list yet. As I run through my residual products from Korea, and explore more products, I'll probably do an update sometime later. Also, if anyone has questions on brands or are curious about different products, feel free to ask! :) 

*Obviously, Asian makeup products are not merely comprised of Korean products, but since these are the products I know best, I'm writing about those.

We Meet Again: Hey Sister Seoul Sister

A wonderful consequence of living abroad is the simple fact that you meet people from all over, from so many walks of life. And if you're lucky, you meet those people with whom you just click and become fast and forever friends. I've been fortunate enough to be still be able to call the friends I met in Korea my dear friends even as I've moved back home, but all the distance doesn't allow for all of us to interact in the same way as we did before, obviously.

All that means that when we can reunite, we are bound for the best of times. One of my Seoul sisters, Erica, was recently in town and we picked up right where we left off and got to spend our days doing what we love best, being outdoors and under the sun!

Erica and I playing at Central Park, August 2013

Friendships like ours are just another reason why I am such a proponent of living abroad. Erica is also an advocate of an international lifestyle, and through our experiences, both shared together and retold, our collective understanding of life and humanity and the awesomeness of the world is enriched and compounded and made beautiful. When we were walking around nyc, I asked Erica if she felt weird being in the US (she's Brazilian-Italian and has lived in so many countries), and she responded so simply, saying that the more countries she visits and the more cultures she experiences meaningfully, the more she's able to see what makes us the same rather than different.

                                 

Erica and I on my last night in Seoul, March 2013 

Not to say that we should become one homogenous world, but its that desire to known our neighbors as our neighbors and not as something exotic that we aspire to. Each place has its own history and has something unique to offer to the world, and should be celebrated of course, but I think you can appreciate how a place is different from what you know without seeing it as other.

                                         

With some of our other Seoul sisters, Andrea and Julie, on what has become one of my favorite days in Korea, February 2013

I have so many friends who share my love of travel as our perspectives tend to run along similar lines, but in particular, it was so great to have one of my dearest friends from Seoul around for a few days. Because no matter how many stories you tell to others in order to explain what you've seen or how you lived, they remain mere stories and somethings can't be explained in words. With Erica, there was no need to explain anything because she lived through it with me, and reminded me of the who I was at a specific time of my life. As we swapped stories and memories, she was able to make Seoul come alive for me again in a way that nothing else has. For a few days, it was like I was able to visit Korea again.

Back in the Trenches: Subbing

For my ESL job, I primarily deal with test writing and the editing of text books. Hidden in all the fine print of my job description is that I should be open and willing to take on other tasks for the company, as needed. My first day on the job—my first minute on the job—I was thrown into the lion’s den, working the front desk and acting as the first point of contact when people walked in or called. Although the danger? threat? prospect? of stepping in to teach a class loomed near, I was able to somehow avoid the call. That is, until last week when I got an email from my boss asking me if I would sub for a week to replace a teacher that just wasn’t working out.

There was no way I could say no. And, to be honest, I didn't really want to. Sure, my last teaching experience wore down my spirits and tarnished my outlook in teaching English overseas, but now that some time has passed, I began to miss teaching. Or at least, interacting with students. Although I am at the centers 4 days a week, I sit in my office working on computers and with books and I don't interact with any of the students that pass my door on a daily basis.

Thus, I went home on a Tuesday evening armed with books, curriculum for the week, and a tentative lesson plan for the next day’s class. And I was up and teaching intermediate English the following day from 8am to 11am.

I could not tell you just how nervous about subbing. My natural disposition is to be nervous and I was never able to quell those first-day jitters as a student, never mind as a teacher. My butterflies were compounded by the fact that I was completely unfamiliar with the texts, the classroom, and how the center likes to run its classrooms. I arrived not knowing how many students I would have in my class, what resources I would have at my disposal, or even what the attendance policy was. That many unknown factors practically spells DISASTER for teachers because that means parts or even the whole of their lesson plan could fail and then you're left scrambling. It's one thing when I find out that something in my lesson plan doesn't work when it's my class, because I know the material and the students and can figure something out on the fly. But to be left floundering in front of a class is never good. Especially when you're a sub. You have to overcome so many things going against you before you even walk into the classroom.

Besides not knowing all the things about the class that their regular teacher would know, you have to work hard to gain their trust and hopefully, respect. The older the students are, the harder it is to get them to put their faith in you that a) you know what you're talking about, b) that the work they're doing in your class does count, and c) despite you being a sub, you care about the students and will support them for as long as you're there. In my case, it was all of these things, plus the fact that they had just gone through a teacher who didn't deliver. If anything, walking into the classroom last week I had more distrust going against me than usual.

I subbed for 4 days. The first day, as always, was the hardest, and I thought each day was better than the last until the last day when I had to say goodbye to them. They were all surprised that it would be our last day together, and while they voiced their disapproval, "Why do you leave us?" "Why do we keep changing teachers?" I knew they were also nervous about the teacher who would come after me. It's never a good thing to keep changing teachers on students, it's so disruptive. And I really felt for these students; I wouldn't want to keep adjusting to a new instructor every week. But I think the new teacher will be the one that sticks.

And I had soo much fun with the students. They were so diverse (lots of south americans and europeans, but just a few asian students!) and I loved seeing them learn from each other. They were so great and I honestly couldn't have asked for a better group of students to spend a few days with. I got a few compliments on my teaching and that made me happy because I really tried hard for them as I wanted them to have a good experience coming out of their time with the previous teacher. They could have been trying to be nice, but I appreciated the words nonetheless.

Long story short: I forgot just how exhausting teaching is! To be so mentally engaged for hours at a time! I was mush afterwards! But I also forgot just how much I actually do like being in the classroom. I'm not looking to go back in as a full-time thing just yet, but it's nice to return to every once and a while.

Thoughts from CA: These are my people!

One of my favorite traveling experiences happens whenever I get to the gate in an airport terminal that leads me home. There are few things I love more than arriving at that gate and settling into a pleather seat. Yes, it is literally the gateway that will lead me home, but more than that, I love being surrounded by other people also heading to San Diego. 

I've been on a lot of flights bound for San Diego, and even within California itself, there's nothing quite like the feeling of the people who are on a flight bound for my hometown. Maybe I'm a bit biased here, but people just feel friendlier, seem happier, and are visibly excited. Also, there is an energy in the air that is less crazy and more relaxed, as if everyone is collectively breathing a sigh of relief for making it back home. 

Of course, there's still the crazy. Being the tourist city that it is, you do get the people who are flying in for a visit, those who are, of course, welcomed, but they inhale when the rest of us are exhaling. I've been asked this so many times about what is particularly interesting to do or see in San Diego, but that's not it. The best thing about San Diego isn't what you do there, it's being there. It's a state of mind. 

So when I arrive at the gate and see all the other people waiting to board, I like that moment when I settle into the atmosphere of people like me, hearing their conversations of the times and places all of which I know intimately, which I carry with me wherever it is that I go.

NYC heatwave

It has been freaking hot.

Temperatures in the 90s with high ass humidity. Temperatures at night still in the 80s.

Simply put, it has been miserable.

And New York being what it is, there's quite often no central air. I've had to go without AC before, but I've never had to try to sleep without it. It makes sleeping at night nearly impossible to do.

I remember last summer in Korea, the AC unit in our classroom broke, and after break I came back to the classroom there was christmas music blasting, a youtube video of snowfall was playing on the projector, students were drawing snowscapes on the white board, and everyone was eating ice cream. It was all an attempt to get their minds thinking that it wasn't hot, that they were experiencing the cold of winter and not the oppressive heat of summer. I got free ice cream out of it and a great memory. That class in particular was a joy to teach.

the TIME CAPSULE: a good kid/ FB adventure

Around 10 years ago, a small group of my friends got together and did something which I consider to be the greatest thing we've ever done as a collective group (besides choosing to be friends with each other): bury a time capsule.

The four of us were coming upon our last year of high school and, as anyone can attest, it is a time of solidarity with your peers, of excitement for the future, of wanting to hold on to the past. Although I don't know whose idea it was to make the time capsule or the details of how it all came together (I have a strong feeling that we were inspired by an episode of Saved by the Bell, you know which one I'm talking about), one night my friends Sonya, Sadaf, and I gathered at our friend Stacy's house carrying armfuls of stuff we wanted to include in our time capsule.

I couldn't tell you really all the things I personally included, but I remember we all cut off a section of our hair (WHY) and wrote predictions about where we thought we would be when we finally retrieved the time capsule in 10 years time. I have vague memories of saying that I would be in a producer's chair in 10 years and that our missing-but-ever-thought-of friend, Joanna, would be wearing bonnets and sundresses and have a small army of children.

We put everything in 1 small tin box and 1 cardboard box, then put the boxes in a garbage bag--totally secured from the elements, I know. Dressed in all black like the cliche we were, we piled into a car armed with two shovels, flashlights, and the time capsule.

We drove to our high school campus. Under the cover of night we buried the time capsule under 2 inches of dirt--the place we decided to bury it had concrete-like soil that was impossible to break through, and then the sprinklers went on and we gave up trying to trying to dig deeper when we were getting soaked and water was entering our shallow hole in the ground.

And that was that.

Flash forward 10 years and the four of us are back together again in San Diego for Stacy's wedding. Much like our former selves, we dressed in black but convened at my house this time to not only dig up our time capsule, but also to make a new one!

We tried to include tokens of the things we'd done and experience over the last 10 years. I threw in some small trinkets from my travels in Southeast Asia, some photos, and the moleskine I used when I first got to Korea--as in, THE moleskine. You travelers know the significance of that moleskine and can only imagine how hard it was for me to part with it.

And now for photos in dark lighting:

Getting the new time capsule ready

Sonya and Stacy going through Stacy's "FB box" full of the best stuff from our high school days.

This is an example of one of the shirts we would make in high school. This one is the "LOVER" shirt. 

On the front, it says "What a lover." On the back is a GIANT list of all the people we considered "lovers"-- attractive and desirable guys, and not our real lovers, because I think I'd keep having Orlando Bloom as my lover a secret and not publicize it on an iron-on shirt thank you very much. 

Lab reports.

Sonya's drawing of JC from Nsync that she gave to Stacy. 

The one on the left is FREDDIE, the senior boy we loved as freshmen (although Graham was way hotter). For one morP he wore a pig costume, and he was in an airbands group called "Kids Incorporated." This was made by Sonya, but we don't know who the person is on the right. 

This time around we threw everything in plastic in plastic in plastic and loaded up the car to headed over to campus. 

 The new time capsule! Hopefully it withstands the elements and years better than the first one!

It was so bizarre and hilarious going back to our old high school as 27/28 year olds. So much has changed and we had no idea if the school had upgraded its security, if the fences and gates would be locked, or what we would find when we got there. There was an air of uneasy nervousness as we drove onto school grounds, and it was such a dramatic contrast to 10 years ago when we were fearless and the atmosphere was predominated by the feeling of reckless excitement. We kept thinking about what we would do or say if we were somehow caught, and it occurred to us that we had more to lose this time around, or, I should say, something to lose this time around (we had nothing as 17/18 year olds).

After much ado, we gathered our supplies, parked our car in the shadows, and slipped onto campus towards the spot that contained our time capsule. To be honest, I had high doubts about being able to find it again. We weren't sure if it had been found (it was only covered in 2 inches of dirt, mind you), and after like an hour of solid digging, our hands blistered from the wood of the shovels, constantly fearing getting caught, and AGAIN, the sprinklers going off on us, we started to doubt if maybe we had remembered incorrectly and were digging in a completely wrong spot.

The dirt was still concrete-like, and there were all these crazy roots growing everywhere, and more than once Sadaf got frustrated and started ripping out roots with her bare hands. We were at the point of giving up when Stacy suggested digging under this particular root that we had ignored earlier. I dug in and there was a flash of white.

It was like the a choir of angels started to sing.

Immediately we got down into the hole and using our hands, we discovered the white plastic bag we had used to put our boxes in! Finally prying the very worn time capsule from the jaws of the earth, we threw in our new time capsule, covered it up again with 2 inches of dirt, and very tiredly made our way back, happy in our discovery.

And a discovery it was.

Sonya said it best, I think, in likening our time capsule to the remains of the Titanic.

Everything was disgusting and reeked like 10 years of neglect and copper pennies. Water had destroyed and aged much of what we had included in the time capsule. Our letters to ourselves and our predictions were fused together and were unable to be separated and read. We picked through the time capsule like vultures a carcass, trying to find anything worth having. Oddly enough, we did find our hair (disgusting), and the things that survived the most were pictures of nsync that had heavy-duty lamination!

As disappointed as we were with how poorly our time capsule survived over the years, overall it was a great adventure and I'm so so happy that we had the brilliant idea to do this when we had nothing in our heads as youth about to set-off into the world. But more than that, I'm grateful we're all still friends and were able to successfully retrieve the time capsule!