I've put off posting about this until I gathered my conflicting emotions and thoughts enough that I could sit down and write something that would make sense.
I've seriously been contemplating the future of my life here in new york and in publishing. I had planned to intern until october, giving me half a year at the agency, before I'd strike out on my own and get that coveted publishing house position. Over the course of the internship, it became apparent to me that that probably wouldn't happen. The first reason being the work that I do now is similar but not exactly the work that happens in a publishing house. As it stands, I have no idea if I'd even like the work I'd do at a publishing house. Being inexperienced as I am, I'd need and want to do another internship with a publishing house. Only that living in new york and doing another unpaid internship just isn't financially feasible or responsible for me at the moment.
Not the mention that before I left for New York, I had opportunities in California similar to my current internship. Complicating things further is this overwhelming need to be in California--nothing against New York. All things being considered, it makes sense for me to go back to San Diego to get more experience before venturing out and (hopefully) making my way back to New York or San Francisco.
When I first thought about going back to California I also saw it as giving up my interest in publishing and I was seized with the thought that no, I wasn't ready to put this dream aside just yet. It's like when you flip a coin to make a decision and in the moments that coin is in the air, you suddenly know exactly what it is that you want.
I haven't decided exactly when I'd leave, but the earliest would be the beginning of September and the latest the beginning of October. In the meantime, I just need to make sure I have things lined up for me when I get back to CA. I have a few ideas, but I'll have to do a bit more research.
It's been a crazy but informative journey thus far, and I hope things pan out in the best way possible.
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