I know what you're thinking and as surprising as it may be, yes, I did go on a speed date event this past weekend. I wasn't bullied into it, it wasn't sponsored, and I was in my right mind when signing up for it. And I know that I don't really talk about dating or boys a lot on my blog(s), but I just really want to share this experience that was both everything that I expected and nothing at all what I expected. So check yourself and your preconceived judgments at the door, and let's get into this.
I know a lot of people do online dating and use okcupid and other online services, but for me, I just can't be bothered with filtering through messages or dealing with how people portray themselves on their profiles. Plus, I think that when you meet someone you know within seconds if you're attracted to them or not, whether there's any kind of spark worth pursuing. I think I can discern people pretty well and so for me, I just can't get that information from someone's profile as readily as I can in real life. So while there are a lot of different or alternative methods to dating nowadays, for the kind of person that I am, speed dating just seemed like a better fit.
That being said, I was a nervous and jittery bundle of nerves by the time I got to the event location. Set up in this lounge that had separate rooms for the bar and seating/lounge area, I entered the venue and steeled myself for the night ahead. Keep in mind that I was completely by myself and totally jealous of the packs of girls who were getting their name tags and who were bubbly and at ease because of all the support they had. Already feeling defeated, I attached my name tag to my jacket and immediately approached the bar, needing something to dull the effect of nervous anxiety. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that some of the guys had also already arrived and were watching the girls from their end of the bar, already sizing us all up like we were puppies in a pet store. I want that one! Paying them no mind (as typical) and drink in hand, I went to claim my seat in the lounge.
Now, the way this particular event was run was that the girls spread out over the different seats along the perimeter of the room, and the guys circulated clockwise. We each had 5 minutes with our dates, and there were about 11 girls and 13 or so guys. We each received a sheet of paper and were instructed to write down the names of our dates as they came, and then circle the names of the people we were interested in. At the end of the night, we turned our papers in and then if a guy and a girl had both circled each other (mutual selection) then we would receive each other's contact information within 24 hours. If, on the other hand, I chose and guy but he didn't choose me, no information would be shared.
The room filled up as girls took their seats (the guys had to stay in the other room), and finally it was time for the event to start. Thank goodness for my drink because I could feel myself retreating into my shell, feeling so shy as the guys were lead into the room in a single-file line. The event coordinator placed the guys and the event got started.
I have to say that the whole thing was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Having only 5 minutes (at first seemed like a long time but really it went by in a blink of an eye), you really have to think about what you want to communicate, how you want to come across, and for 2.5 minutes you're probably just talking about yourself, and let's be honest, who doesn't love that? I didn't really have a plan or anything going in, because I feel like being genuine and nice goes a long way. As much as I am totally anti-social, I can, on very special occasions, be totally engaged and open. It doesn't happen often, and it is so draining on me, but it's something that I can, thankfully, do. That is not to say that I can flirt. No, that is a talent and skill that is beyond me and I think probably rightfully so lol.
And most of the guys were pretty normal, good guys. There were, however, some stand out characters:
- The guy with too much cologne, who sat too close, who would tap my knee anytime he could, and who kept such strong eye contact. I don't know that I even saw him blink. My favorite line from his was, "so how do you have such a great body?"
- The guy who was more into his drink than anything I had to say. I'd ask him a question and he'd answer in one or two words, then focus would shift back to his drink. He didn't ask me a single thing. Was perfectly content to let us sit in silence.
- The very sweet but super intense guy who was so nervous but so direct. Our conversation went something like this:
- Him: "I like you.
- Me: "Oh, well, thank you."
- Him: "Can I circle your name?"
- Me: "Uh, sure if you want to. "
- Him: "Can you circle my name?"
- Me: "Oh, okay. I will."
- Him: "Can you do it now?"
- Me: "Right now?"
- Him: "Yes."
- Me, taking my pen out: "Well, okay." I circle his name.
- Him: "Great, once you get to know me you'll see I'm a great guy."
- Me: "I'm sure you are."
- Him: "Once you get to know me you'll see I'm a great guy."
- Me: "Okay."
- I completely cross out his name after the 5 minutes is over.
Overall though, I had some great conversation and met some good guys, and at the end of the night that's the best I could have asked for. When the whole thing was over, everyone started to clear out, but the girl who sat next to me, my new friend!, and I were hanging back and sort of talking about how the night went. I ended up circling 2 guys on my list, the ones who I felt most comfortable and had the best conversation with.
While mostly everyone filed out and the lounge was re-opened to the bar's patrons, in walks this terribly handsome stranger.
And with that, I will continue the story in the next installment! The whole thing will probably take about 3 posts, but I wanted to break it down into smaller, content specific posts. This post was all about the speed dating session. Up next... who is this handsome stranger and what does he have to do with me? Stay tuned! :D
But I want to know more NOW!!!! :)
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